The Fellowship of theHogwarts?
by ROSD
Summary: The Fellowship are forced to work as teachers for Hogwarts. Here is their story. A short little fanfic that's humorously cute.
1. Reunions and Flying Gandalfs

**Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Lord of the Rings. If we did, I doubt we'd be writing fanfics.  
**

**Also, you may have seen this story posted elsewhere, and just so you know, that was us! Just so you don't think we're plagurizing or something.**

**Fellowship of the...Hogwarts?  
**  
Chapter 1-Reunions and Flying Gandalfs  
  
(After the War of the Ring, the Fellowship meet up in Rivendell for a...reunion.)  
  
Aragorn found Boromir sneaking around the coffee and bagel table. (Please note that the sign above the table read: "Free Bagels") Boromir can be seen "cleverly" sneaking a cinnamon raisin bagel into his tunic.  
  
"Boromir, what are you doing?" asked Aragorn. (Yes, I know Boromir's dead, but he came back to life somehow.)  
  
"I, um, uh, wanna bagel?" he replied, in a feeble attempt to distract Aragorn from his burglary.  
  
"Uh, no thanks. I think I'll pass." He replied, eyeing Boromir strangely. He then continued on through the doors, Boromir in tow.  
  
The fellowship had decided that it was time for a reunion, and they were having it in Rivendell. Boromir and Aragorn walked into a large, spacious hall with only six other people present. There were four hobbits, one of which was spinning around uncontrollably.  
  
"Hello Pippin." Said Aragorn to the spinning hobbit. Pippin replies by throwing up on Aragorn's new, brown boots. (Um, picture big brown cowboy boots, and you get the idea.)  
  
When he has finished vomiting, he turns to another hobbit with a yellow vest. (Dang! He has a lot of yellow vests!)  
  
"How many turns was that, Merry?" asked Pip.  
  
"900, a new record!" Merry exclaimed proudly. Another hobbit, who was rather fat, but in a cute way, was crawling under the table, much to the surprise of the others.  
  
"Sam, what are you doing?" asked Boromir.  
  
"My contact fell out, and I can't find it!" said Sam, as he continued to crawl around.  
  
Aragorn turns to the last hobbit with big, bright blue eyes. "Why are you so sad, Fro?" he asked, concerned.  
  
"I'm not sad." Frodo said, eyeing Aragorn curiously. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"But you're frowning."  
  
"Well, yes, but since Mordor, the frown has become a permanent part of my face. This is actually me happy!"  
  
"Oh." Said Boromir and Aragorn together. The men turned to the other two figures, one elf and one dwarf, who were arguing.  
  
"Na, na, na, na, na! You can't get it!" the blond elf said to the dwarf, holding his ax high in the air.  
  
"Legolas, you stupid elf, give me my ax!" the dwarf shouted, jumping up, trying to snatch his ax away.  
  
"Now, Gimli. The last time we let you have your ax, you almost destroyed the Orthanc." Legolas took Gimli's ax and put it high on a shelf.  
  
"I didn't destroy it!" Gimli protested. "I was redecorating! Haven't you ever heard on the show 'While You Were Out'? You guys were out, so I redecorated!"  
  
Suddenly, Sam stood up, hitting his head on the table. "OW! Where's Gand-"  
  
But was interrupted by a loud crash through the window. A tall figure in white was riding on a broomstick. He ran into a couple of walls before landing on the ground. He stood up and brushed himself off.  
  
"I think I'm getting the hang of it." Gandalf said. (Duh it was Gandalf! Who else would make such an entrance?)  
  
"Hey that's my line!" exclaimed Sam.  
  
"Shut up you fool of a...a... Gamgee!" Gandalf responded, glaring at Sam. "Now I have something to ask all of you."  
  
"What's that, Gandalf?" asked Aragorn.  
  
"Well, you see, the headmaster of this wizarding school died."  
  
"How?" asked Pip, licking the frosting off of a cupcake.  
  
"Fool of a Took! How am I supposed to know! He TV went out while his favorite show was on. Pretty pathetic if you ask me." While saying this, he cleverly slips a pliers beneath his robes. "Now, where was I? Oh yes, so they asked me to take his place. But some of the teachers were so sad the old headmaster had died, that they committed suicide. So you all are going to have to fill in."  
  
"Oh, I don't think I can--" started Merry.  
  
"Fool of a Brandybuck! You're going and you're going to like it as well, or I'll turn you into a..." Gandalf thought for a moment.  
  
"A lady?" Gimli piped up. "Snowhite, perhaps?"  
  
"Ok, ok, I'll go!" Merry said quickly.  
  
"Good! We'll leave tomorrow morning." Gandalf said brightly. 


	2. Floo Powder and FireStealing Aliens

**Chapter 2-Floo Powder & Fire-Stealing Aliens  
**  
The next morning, the fellowship was packed and ready to go, and waiting in front of a fireplace. Soon, Gandalf walked in with a small box.  
  
"Now, what you do is take a pinch of this powder stuff, throw it into the fire, step into the fire, say "Hogwarts", and voila! You're there! Kapeesh?" Gandalf said quickly.  
  
"Uh, yes?" Merry replied, frowning.  
  
"Goody. Okay, Lego, you go first." Gandalf said to the elf.  
  
"It's Legolas, not Lego! I thought we established that!" shouted Legolas.  
  
"Whatever Legs, now be gone!" Gandalf said, not even paying attention. Mumbling angrily, Legolas took some of the green powder and threw it into the fire, and the flames turned emerald green. All of a sudden, Pippin screamed.  
  
"Oh no! Aliens are taking over our fires!" he shouted, and jumped into Boromir's arms. Boromir promptly dropped him and took a step back.  
  
"Ten feet, man, ten feet!" he said. Pippin quickly recovered, and Legolas tentatively stepped into the green fire.  
  
"Hey! I'm not burning!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Obviously!" said Gandalf. "Now get going!"  
  
"Hogwarts!" said Legolas, and he disappeared.  
  
"Omg! He disappeared! AHHHHHHH!" Aragorn screamed, and started hyperventilating. Gandalf hit Aragorn on his head with his staff.  
  
"Oh shut up you fool of a Ranger!" Gandalf glared. "Sorry, I don't know your last name."  
  
"Oh, I don't have one." Aragorn replied, shrugging.  
  
"Anyway," continued Gandalf. "That was supposed to happen! You go next."  
  
The rest of the fellowship was able to get through without an incident, which was quite surprising. After they went through the fire, they found themselves in a large, strange office. 


	3. Hogwarts In One Month

**Chapter 3-Hogwarts In One Month**  
  
"Well," said Frodo. "This must be Gandalf's office."  
  
"Of course it is!" Gandalf, said sitting behind the desk and propping his feet up. "Now we need to decide who will teach what class, savvy?"  
  
"You did not just say 'savvy'." Legolas said, staring at the old wizard.  
  
"Got a problem with it, woman?" he snapped. Legolas went back to muttering angrily.  
  
"Now, Lego, you're going to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts."  
  
"What do I do?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Read these and you'll find out." He handed him the five Harry Potter books. "Now, Aragorn, you'll do Potions; Gimli, you're the Care of Magical Creatures teacher; Frodo will do Divination, Boromir does Quidditch, Sam has Herbology, Merry will teach Charms, and Pip is left with Transfiguration."  
  
Each person received the Harry Potter books. "Okay, the students arrive in a month."  
  
-----  
  
The next four weeks went pretty smoothly, all things considered. Pippin got his head stuck in the banister six times, fell down the stairs (that he claimed moved) twelve times, fell off some cliff twenty times (which was quite low considering his usual record was ninety-seven times a month), and raided the kitchen at least twice a day.  
  
Sam nearly drowned in the lake three times, but actually had a knack for the Herbology thing. The fact that he was almost eaten by a man-eating plant is beside the point.  
  
Frodo would randomly have seizures whenever anyone mentioned "Precious" or "Ring". But that was considered normal. Merry would raid the kitchens with Pip, and kept blowing up things, trying to get a levitating spell right. In the end, the only thing he could levitate was carrots. (How ironic.)  
  
Gimli got a hold of his ax, and re-designed the Quidditch field before Aragorn could take it and hide it. A day didn't go by without Gimli complaining about not having his ax.  
  
Aragorn had no problems except for his occasional falling asleep at the dinner table and waking up screaming, "Elendil!" and chopping the table to pieces with his sword.  
  
Legolas had a huge temper tantrum when he met the house elves, loudly complaining that "It was impossible to be related to those hairless goblins!" He got even madder when Aragorn pointed out that goblins had no hair.  
  
Boromir was actually great at Quidditch aside from the fact that Gandalf had sprinkled him with fairy dust so that he could fly the broom. And although he was graceful in the air, Boromir was a klutz on the ground. Tripping was a fact of life and he had already broken a number of irreplaceable antiques.  
  
Gandalf stayed in his office most of the time and when he was interrupted, he would lecture for hours about interrupting wizards. (Of course, we know his office is password protected, but thanks to Sam, everyone knew the password.) All too soon, it was September 1st. 


End file.
